I hate talking about my weight, but it's time to get serious about getting healthy. It's gonna be hard, because my husband doesn't like healthy foods. So when I wanna buy veggies, and fruits for snacks, he'll not have snacks. It's hard when everyone in a house doesn't help shop for your weight loss. My mom used to do that, she would tell me that she was not going to buy food around my diets, so when they were eating at Wendy's every other night, it made it hard to diet.
I don't think that diet is the answer to everything, a lot of it is, I need to get off my ass and MOVE! I don't eat that poorly, I just sit around a lot. I'm going to try just moving more, before I diet, because I really really hate restricted diets. I know I don't have the self control to stick to a diet my whole life!
Right now I am around 286. When I went to the doctor, I didn't stand right on the scale, so she just made up a number, and I had on a heavy coat, so more like 270. But still...
I wear size 22-24 and my goal by the first day of summer is to be a size 14.
I'm gonna need support, and suggestions!!!
Thanks guys!
Jan 1 2011 marks the first day of change! :)
Friday, December 31, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
STORY TIME! (obviously not a true story! haha)
It wouldn't have been so bad, if they hadn't been friends for so long. It might have been different if they hadn't shared so many memories, but it didn't work that way. As he drove the knife into Anne's soft belly, all of the memories of their friendship flooded her last fleeting moments of life. Where had she gone wrong, why couldn't she have seen this coming? He had been acting strange since the incident with his ex girlfriend, and everyone could see it.
Anne's mind continued to remember all of the good times they shared; the day she saw Raphael in the halls of their high school. He was so handsome. Long dark hair, and he towered over her, which was strange because she was used to being the tallest around. They grew closer as they rehearsed their lines for the fall musical. Anne chuckled as she recalled all the funny pranks they pulled on their choir tour, and how charming Raphael was. His wit and charm got him out of a lot of situations. She remembered the not so great times, like how he made a mess of prom for everyone. That's what you get when you date a guy who isn't over his ex girlfriend with the giant...assets.
Never the less, they remained friends through and through. Anne had moved on from dreaming of this clearly beautiful tragedy long ago, and was married to Michael. She'd even managed to get Raphael to date her younger friend Nichole. Things seemed to be going great. The hot Summer days they all spent together laughing, drinking, singing songs all raced to Anne's mind as she felt the knife dig deeper into her side. She took herself to back a few months prior, when Michael and Raphael became friends, and quit their foolish fighting over Anne. Things seemed to be going well. They had friends, they had love, they had it all the American dream!
Being pulled back to reality by the harsh thud of her nearly lifeless body on the pavement, she could hear screaming. For a moment she thought it was her own screams, then suddenly realizing she was silent, a stiffening chill rose over Anne. "Nichole! Nichole! Where are you?" Anne yelled the best she could. She lifted her head and tried to get off the ground, only to see Nichole being ripped out of the car by her hair.
Guilt and embarrassment rained over Anne. She should have known that something was up when Raphael asked for her and Nichole to come over. Weeks before their perfect dream had been shaken out of the dream catcher and turned into a nightmare. Nichole took a turn for the worse after her and Raphael split, and she tried to end more than just their relationship. The image of Nichole's blood soaked wrists forced themselves into Anne's mind.
That night Anne and Michael had been the only ones to get in the car and drive over to Nichole's, just in time to have her step out of her car, and show her arms, before she stumbled back into the car. Raphael blamed himself, it seemed a piece of him was lost for every drop of blood shed that cold night. For quite some time, Anne and Raphael did not speak with Nichole. Only recently did they find it in their hearts to talk to her after that stunt.
In their minds, he was merely just "coming around like he always does" when he asked them over. When Anne took a step out of the car that night, she was smiling, and about to make a smart-ass joke to Raphael. She went to give him a hug, as always, when he drove the knife into her. Nichole did not notice right away, due to the darkness. One could even say it was very Shakespearean, as he murdered her under his trench coat. Once Nichole began to register what was going on, she was being drug from the vehicle by her hair, and onto the driveway, beside her friend.
"I grow tired of these games you two play." He snarled. Smearing the crimson from his knife to his jeans. "I grow tired of all the bullshit dramatics from you two. I am grow tired of making obviously bad decisions. I grow tired of being reminded of my failures. I grow tired of how I've ruined so much up to this point, and I intend to change it." He said with an eerie calmness. He took a grinding pivot toward Anne, "I grow tired of your constant meddling." He sharply turned toward Nichole "I grow tired of your attention-whore needy shit! I grow tired of you dropping hints that we're 'meant to be' I grow very very tired of you BOTH! But not for long.." Anne placed a stick in her hand, and moved to stab him in the leg, but he lunged himself at her, kicking her away, and unconscious. Nichole tried to crawl away, but he jabbed his knife into her calf. "You bastard!" She shrieked. He pulled a small hatchet out from a loop in his trench coat, and began to hack at her. "Still think we're meant to be?!" He laughed. "With her final breathe, she realized, she never really loved him, and he never loved her, he was only in it for the benefits!" He narrated his tale. "Any last words my love, anything I should know before the credits roll?!" He placed his foot on her bloody front, and stopped attacking, holding his messy hand to his ear with sarcasm. She opened her mouth, but only groans escaped. "What's that dear, you'll have to speak up, I can't quite hear you!"
Raphael leaned over Nichole with his hand still to his ear, suddenly Anne's weak voice is heard, "This is the part, where the first victim comes back to kick your ass!" She limped over to him. "Oh I love it when you talk formats and predictability Anne. You always were one for the dramatics." Still standing on Nichole's body, he turned to Anne. As she got closer, she exposed his knife, he's carelessly tossed on the drive. "Why are you doing this? You haven't been the same since that night that Nichole..." He interrupted her, "ENOUGH! You've had this coming for a long time! You haven't the slightest idea what I think, or feel, you claim to care, but you don't at all! What happens to you or her, is your fault! You meddle, you dig, you create issues, and now, I will change it all! I will fix it once and for all."
He dropped his hatchet down onto Nichole's neck, decapitating her instantly. Dropping to her knees, vomiting Anne began to sob. "JUST STOP IT!..." He growled at her. "You choose now to cry, save your crocodile tears for...well it doesn't quite matter who you save them for now does it?" He took a leap toward her. She released the knife, and the tears stopped instantly. She knew she had no hope for life. She crumpled, and put her hands over her ear. Raphael circled his prey, like that of a shark that smells blood in the water. "Do you see what you create? You cause destruction. You killed her. You ruined everything. You caused my insanity. You killed yourself..." He stopped behind her, and took a swift step forward. She lifted her head up, and lowered her hands. "Good night Toby..." She whispered. "And to you Mr. Todd." He shook his head and smiled. The blood flowed from her neck, and down her chest. Taking his foot, he pushed her down.
Later that night, Michael called Raphael in a panic. Asking if he'd heard from Anne. Raphael played innocent, and said that maybe her phone was out of service zone again. Offered to go look with him, and maybe catch a bite to eat. After splitting up to search, Raphael pulled out Anne's phone, and sent a text to Michael Hey honey, I'm out with Nichole, sorry if I worried you, my phone is dying. Love you tons! So Michael called Raphael back over, and asked him if he still wanted to have the bite to eat. "Sure Mike, while we eat, I've got a proposition for you...what do you say to me and you opening a meat pie service?"
FIN
Anne's mind continued to remember all of the good times they shared; the day she saw Raphael in the halls of their high school. He was so handsome. Long dark hair, and he towered over her, which was strange because she was used to being the tallest around. They grew closer as they rehearsed their lines for the fall musical. Anne chuckled as she recalled all the funny pranks they pulled on their choir tour, and how charming Raphael was. His wit and charm got him out of a lot of situations. She remembered the not so great times, like how he made a mess of prom for everyone. That's what you get when you date a guy who isn't over his ex girlfriend with the giant...assets.
Never the less, they remained friends through and through. Anne had moved on from dreaming of this clearly beautiful tragedy long ago, and was married to Michael. She'd even managed to get Raphael to date her younger friend Nichole. Things seemed to be going great. The hot Summer days they all spent together laughing, drinking, singing songs all raced to Anne's mind as she felt the knife dig deeper into her side. She took herself to back a few months prior, when Michael and Raphael became friends, and quit their foolish fighting over Anne. Things seemed to be going well. They had friends, they had love, they had it all the American dream!
Being pulled back to reality by the harsh thud of her nearly lifeless body on the pavement, she could hear screaming. For a moment she thought it was her own screams, then suddenly realizing she was silent, a stiffening chill rose over Anne. "Nichole! Nichole! Where are you?" Anne yelled the best she could. She lifted her head and tried to get off the ground, only to see Nichole being ripped out of the car by her hair.
Guilt and embarrassment rained over Anne. She should have known that something was up when Raphael asked for her and Nichole to come over. Weeks before their perfect dream had been shaken out of the dream catcher and turned into a nightmare. Nichole took a turn for the worse after her and Raphael split, and she tried to end more than just their relationship. The image of Nichole's blood soaked wrists forced themselves into Anne's mind.
That night Anne and Michael had been the only ones to get in the car and drive over to Nichole's, just in time to have her step out of her car, and show her arms, before she stumbled back into the car. Raphael blamed himself, it seemed a piece of him was lost for every drop of blood shed that cold night. For quite some time, Anne and Raphael did not speak with Nichole. Only recently did they find it in their hearts to talk to her after that stunt.
In their minds, he was merely just "coming around like he always does" when he asked them over. When Anne took a step out of the car that night, she was smiling, and about to make a smart-ass joke to Raphael. She went to give him a hug, as always, when he drove the knife into her. Nichole did not notice right away, due to the darkness. One could even say it was very Shakespearean, as he murdered her under his trench coat. Once Nichole began to register what was going on, she was being drug from the vehicle by her hair, and onto the driveway, beside her friend.
"I grow tired of these games you two play." He snarled. Smearing the crimson from his knife to his jeans. "I grow tired of all the bullshit dramatics from you two. I am grow tired of making obviously bad decisions. I grow tired of being reminded of my failures. I grow tired of how I've ruined so much up to this point, and I intend to change it." He said with an eerie calmness. He took a grinding pivot toward Anne, "I grow tired of your constant meddling." He sharply turned toward Nichole "I grow tired of your attention-whore needy shit! I grow tired of you dropping hints that we're 'meant to be' I grow very very tired of you BOTH! But not for long.." Anne placed a stick in her hand, and moved to stab him in the leg, but he lunged himself at her, kicking her away, and unconscious. Nichole tried to crawl away, but he jabbed his knife into her calf. "You bastard!" She shrieked. He pulled a small hatchet out from a loop in his trench coat, and began to hack at her. "Still think we're meant to be?!" He laughed. "With her final breathe, she realized, she never really loved him, and he never loved her, he was only in it for the benefits!" He narrated his tale. "Any last words my love, anything I should know before the credits roll?!" He placed his foot on her bloody front, and stopped attacking, holding his messy hand to his ear with sarcasm. She opened her mouth, but only groans escaped. "What's that dear, you'll have to speak up, I can't quite hear you!"
Raphael leaned over Nichole with his hand still to his ear, suddenly Anne's weak voice is heard, "This is the part, where the first victim comes back to kick your ass!" She limped over to him. "Oh I love it when you talk formats and predictability Anne. You always were one for the dramatics." Still standing on Nichole's body, he turned to Anne. As she got closer, she exposed his knife, he's carelessly tossed on the drive. "Why are you doing this? You haven't been the same since that night that Nichole..." He interrupted her, "ENOUGH! You've had this coming for a long time! You haven't the slightest idea what I think, or feel, you claim to care, but you don't at all! What happens to you or her, is your fault! You meddle, you dig, you create issues, and now, I will change it all! I will fix it once and for all."
He dropped his hatchet down onto Nichole's neck, decapitating her instantly. Dropping to her knees, vomiting Anne began to sob. "JUST STOP IT!..." He growled at her. "You choose now to cry, save your crocodile tears for...well it doesn't quite matter who you save them for now does it?" He took a leap toward her. She released the knife, and the tears stopped instantly. She knew she had no hope for life. She crumpled, and put her hands over her ear. Raphael circled his prey, like that of a shark that smells blood in the water. "Do you see what you create? You cause destruction. You killed her. You ruined everything. You caused my insanity. You killed yourself..." He stopped behind her, and took a swift step forward. She lifted her head up, and lowered her hands. "Good night Toby..." She whispered. "And to you Mr. Todd." He shook his head and smiled. The blood flowed from her neck, and down her chest. Taking his foot, he pushed her down.
Later that night, Michael called Raphael in a panic. Asking if he'd heard from Anne. Raphael played innocent, and said that maybe her phone was out of service zone again. Offered to go look with him, and maybe catch a bite to eat. After splitting up to search, Raphael pulled out Anne's phone, and sent a text to Michael Hey honey, I'm out with Nichole, sorry if I worried you, my phone is dying. Love you tons! So Michael called Raphael back over, and asked him if he still wanted to have the bite to eat. "Sure Mike, while we eat, I've got a proposition for you...what do you say to me and you opening a meat pie service?"
FIN
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Disney's Shake It Up
I really hate Disney's new show Shake It Up. The concept is alright, it's like the happy ending of Hairspray without the drama! The plot is not what bothers me, it's the characters. One in particular that drives me up a wall is the character Rocky. She is loud, and annoying. Her attitude is horribly obnixous. She is the kid in school you wanted to hit, and you wonder why she has a cool friend like Cici. Cici's character is the kinda of person that acts all chill and relaxed and cool, but is really lost in this world without Rocky, for some odd reason..more than likely because she knows deep down Rocky makes her look 100 times cooler.
This show just really is Disney's pitfall. I honestly don't mind a lot of shows on Disney, I'd even rather watch Hannah Montana and get made fun of, than watch Shake It Up.
The acting is fake, the characters are over done, and the writers HAD to be desperate!!!!
I know that I did NOT act like that when I was in middle school. It is the MOST annoying thing to watch, them squeek, and...well it's hard to explain...does anyone out the relate?
This show just really is Disney's pitfall. I honestly don't mind a lot of shows on Disney, I'd even rather watch Hannah Montana and get made fun of, than watch Shake It Up.
The acting is fake, the characters are over done, and the writers HAD to be desperate!!!!
I know that I did NOT act like that when I was in middle school. It is the MOST annoying thing to watch, them squeek, and...well it's hard to explain...does anyone out the relate?
The eclipse
No, not the teen movie that is way over rated, the ACTUAL eclipse that happened on the first night of Winter. It was pretty cool.
I tried to get pictures, but my camera was not picking it up as well; I was shaky cuz it was cold.
It was kinda freaky, cuz it was a redish moon, so I was thinking about how in the Bible it says the moon will turn red and the world will end.
hahahaha.
It was pretty cool to watch, cuz it hasn't happened on the night of Winter in about 300 years!
Other than seeing the eclipse, last night we just watched Secret Window, cuz my husband had never seen it.
I'm gonna try to upload some pictures of the eclipse, and possibly some video.
PROMISE, my life is more interesting than this...hahaha
I tried to get pictures, but my camera was not picking it up as well; I was shaky cuz it was cold.
It was kinda freaky, cuz it was a redish moon, so I was thinking about how in the Bible it says the moon will turn red and the world will end.
hahahaha.
It was pretty cool to watch, cuz it hasn't happened on the night of Winter in about 300 years!
Other than seeing the eclipse, last night we just watched Secret Window, cuz my husband had never seen it.
I'm gonna try to upload some pictures of the eclipse, and possibly some video.
PROMISE, my life is more interesting than this...hahaha
This is the moon about 2 hours before the eclipse.
This is just a picture of the eclipse
Another
Last picture I got.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
A Dream I Had A Few Nights Ago...
So the other night, I had a dream, that me and my husband decided to not use protection, cuz we were drunk or something, but then we were like OMG!... and freaked out...
So we tried to get a morning after pill, but all he could find was morning after cheese sticks! If I ate the cheese stick, I wouldn't get pregnant. Everytime I tried to eat the cheese stick, something got in the way...
It was the weirdesy dream EVER!!!...
I was just thinking about it, and thought I'd share it with the world...hahaha..
give ya'll a good laugh!
So we tried to get a morning after pill, but all he could find was morning after cheese sticks! If I ate the cheese stick, I wouldn't get pregnant. Everytime I tried to eat the cheese stick, something got in the way...
It was the weirdesy dream EVER!!!...
I was just thinking about it, and thought I'd share it with the world...hahaha..
give ya'll a good laugh!
Introduction to my new blog!
Hello blogger world!
I am making a blog to keep my thoughts flowing, and possibly meet some like minded people.
I'm an artistic person, mostly with video and photographs, but anything that can get my point across is fair game!
I will be using this to update my frustrations, my happiness, and my videos...and anything else I want to share.
I am an open book, so I will most likely be updating a LOT...that is, if I can remember to do it...
You see, this is not my first blog, just the first one I really care about!
So, there you have it!
You'll get to learn a lot about me, and my likes and dislikes, and see into the mind of a crazy female Tim Burton-wanna be! haha!
I am making a blog to keep my thoughts flowing, and possibly meet some like minded people.
I'm an artistic person, mostly with video and photographs, but anything that can get my point across is fair game!
I will be using this to update my frustrations, my happiness, and my videos...and anything else I want to share.
I am an open book, so I will most likely be updating a LOT...that is, if I can remember to do it...
You see, this is not my first blog, just the first one I really care about!
So, there you have it!
You'll get to learn a lot about me, and my likes and dislikes, and see into the mind of a crazy female Tim Burton-wanna be! haha!
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